birthday moods

when someone has a birthday do i wonder about mine?... most of the time i do not remember to think about birthdays or any sort of scheduled celebrations because years of phony well-wishes and plastic smiles long since turned me off to planned social celebrations... i see the lies that humans live way too easily for anyone's comfort and i do not like pretense and i do not want to bring anyone down, so i stay away... it is a lonely mood, quite often, as i seek the honest love that everyone is afraid to actualize and share... but some still do care, even if it is shown only superficially at scheduled intervals...

happy birthday everybody :}

if i came here every day

would there be more laughter or tears, i wonder, if i came here every day... you read from your perspective and will see what you will see, but that is influenced by your own reflection... the speculation only shows curiosity as extrapolation from the few momentary moods recorded here would be futile and spurious speculation, but that does not keep curiosity from wondering...

the mood today is curious... not so much analytical, just curious...

and this may be the dominant mood after all :)