more tired

even here, tonight especially, because life presents major challenges tomorrow that will leave way too much work for me for a month or few which is not fair since i've not been able to take time off and rest for some time... the momentary moods are not always tired and sad and lonely, but the tired allows more sad and lonely in than the happy... feeling alone again and wanting to share more, but not the superficial games... i have companionship and the surface sharing is available, but the depths are not shared so it is deep down that the loneliness cries out from the long term fatigue... must find a way to take some time off, but the phone is always on as i have 24/7/365 responsibilities for more than a hundred people and for a while have not had a support system to delegate to or give me relief... not so much wah wah wah as just phew...