there are so many songs

i am hearing whippoorwills tonight... and so many songs that cry out for somebody to love, that lament the loneliness of life... so many songs that express the feeling of wanting and not getting, of hunger unfulfilled, or longing for companionship, friendship, caring, sharing, love... i am feels so very alone tonight... it does not come around too often... mostly i like my solitude... but there is this deeper part of me that keeps the song need to be in love in the list of top five all-time songs... i know i need to be in love... but honesty is such a lonely word, and that is all i really need, honesty... so far i've not found it, people lie as a habit, especially to themselves... and that is not love, so i remain alone and lonely because no one wants their lie exposed, pointed out, mirrored...

i want to find and share everything with someone who lives without delusion, without fear, without lies... someone who stays awake even when the fear puts everyone else to sleep... someone who sees even when fear closes everyone's eyes... someone who does not need delusion to answer questions that do not really need answers... someone who is their own answer looking for someone else like them, like me... we are all so the same deep down, one truth, honesty... it is so lonely to know this and not be able to share it because of the walls of fear and delusion and lies around others...

yes, honesty is such a lonely word...