sometimes I feel

sometimes I feel like a prophet and sometimes I feel like a fool, but mostly I am feeling lonely of late and I'm tired of it and that's not cool... right now I feel like nobody cares enough to be here to care for me cuz nobody is so nobody does and this has beeing going on for some time now... I still want to believe in love and hope and friends and caring and love, but I've got no proof it exists anymore and what I once thought I had is so gone, maybe it never was...

are we luckier to be alone when we die, so no one mourns more than a moment or two or are we luckier to die in the arms of someone who will mourn us forever and want us to be together again somehow someday, if that's even possible...

might depend on whether we define mourn as die or as celebrate...

I'm celebrating, personally, all alone.

unpleasant

the computer is insufficient... the body is dying... the space is filthy... the laundry is not done... the worries are coming... the doubts are forming... the hope is waning... the mind is going numb... the heart is sleeping (will it die in it's sleep?)... the child is crying (promises are meant to keep)... the way is wobbly (and the lost are being found)... the best I can do is hope someone comes around before I'm gone... and I leave these words behind to carry on...

the best semi-laid plans

are not really plans, but then, they might be ideas, ideas that never quite reach fruition, perhaps, but nonetheless ideas... it is easy to see the lack of external inspiration and allow that to effect the flow, but then, does a river dry up merely because no one comes to wade in it?... my friend Phil Oso knows, and perhaps you do too... shame we don't know together :}