not so much

while loneliness grows deeper and louder of late, my ambivalence with trusting another person remains as strong as ever as i realize that i do not need to trust in order to give it all away... disappointment still comes even though i expect people to take and not share and leave me when they have taken all they quietly could because hopes springs eternal, or something like that...

will no one stay awake with me?

not always polite

but usually irreverent... as much as i write, some nights i don't have much to say and all i really want to do is fuck someone's brains out, but most of the time libido gets in the way because libido does not like settling for someone who does not turn me on and libido has a rather narrow fuse... still, some nights i just want to lose myself in mindless sex... preferably with a cooperative partner...