cha cha cha challenge

yeah, the bliss of freedom and the fear of loss of connections (few people want to be socially connected with a homeless person)... so part of me wants to move one from this modern life of struggling for money and never having enough time to enjoy what money can buy and part of me wants to be comfortably indoors for as long as i am alive... so i don't want to sleep in a box on the street or in a park or on a beach or mountain, but i am so tired of the rat race that pays for the four walls and all the incidentals (meals, clothes, and social recreational fun fun fun)... so the mood is a challenge, torn between wanting the be in a position to find friends and even the one and wanting to relax and retire and enjoy life without the crap... we don't have to ask what it the one is living in a box in a park or the beach or...

oh, just get this overwith already, will ya...

magic moments

the last ten minutes (about) of it's a wonderful life floors me every time no matter how many times i've seen it... there are other films that grab me, hold me, melt me, and compel me to an emotional catharsis on different levels (wide range of types, from miracle on 34th st to fifth element to hook to some even more diverse), but few can kick me out of complacent egotism or detached intellectualism as well as it's a wonderful life...

thanks all who made it, every one :)

i wasn't feeling this way

last month, or whenever this was, i was full of hope and prosper, as if prosper was something to be full of, and the bliss i know as me was shinging brightly in my eyes (even if i'm the only one who saw me)... or was it this month that i feel this way?... time travels in weird circles :)

always

yes, always, i'm in the mood for love, always, i'll be loving you, always, here in the moment of time passing by, always, chasing rainbows, always, something there to remind me, always, on my mind, always, in my heart, always, love you, i will, always, run to you, always, run to me, always, i will follow you, always, right here waiting, always, a woman to me, always, loving you, always, wanna be with you, always, whatever, always :)

freaking memory

yeah, last week i got blasted from the past and this week another and the photos are chilling and inspiring and so very sad because so many i've loved are still out there and i can see their photos on the new social netowrking sites and yet, no contact, no interaction, no continuance and yet, always in memory, freaking memory, even when i am not in the mood to remember...

so many emotions collide at this point, but still, i would rather remember than forget cuz i know it is better to have loved...

you?

promises

yeah, with another song playing on repeat because of the magical connection i saw in the singer's eyes and smile the first time we met in the rain on warped tour and that one look was enough to fall in love with her and her voice and music and now new words leading me back to the first time in the program office the love at first site swallowed all reason and cause to leave me living on hope in the bliss of lust and uninhibited trust and blind faith in unconditional love if only she did too...

fondly frustrated

frustrated by a body that is not just imperfect, but not cared for as optimally as possible so therein hurts more than it should but more, is unable to do all it can due to spinal alignment out of synch and a life too busy to rest properly due to massive workloads and a loneliness due to lack of intimacy and all in all, i fondly recall the wonder of caring...

or something like that...

and sometimes i feel

life is a party and everything is so sweetly wonderfully enjoyable and pleasurable cuz there's some sort of balance that feels perfect...

roll with it :)

sometimes i feel

like the allman brothers sang, but more, lonelier than words can explain and more, angry at all those i love and cherished and devoted myself to throughout the years (except maybe one or two, maybe) cuz what goes around never seems to come around to me and that's a fact, sucks to be me when i feel this way...

still, i can laugh at myself even as i hate everyone else...

cuz momentary moods pass so quickly...

and i chose what remains real...

love for a birthday

bliss comes in the most unexpected moments when you forget the timeline and the connections, but when you remember, everything happens just when it is supposed to...